Article By Kevin L. DeWitt

The only real security in a relationship lies neither in looking back in nostalgia, nor forward in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

From the time we are young, we are taught to plan out our lives, both for the long term and on a day-to-day basis.

We have daily, weekly, monthly planners and digital calendars that map out our lives, sometimes to the minute.  With plans like these, we feel we’re in control …

But we’re not.

We cannot control our lives to this degree, no matter how we try. Things always come up to change the best plans.  And the more detailed our plans, the more of a guarantee that something different – unplanned – will occur.

So what happens when the plans go awry?  We are stressed out, because things get out of our control and don’t live up to our expectations.  This is one of the greatest sources of stress for most people.

Think about how often your days actually go according to plan – they are pretty rare.  We have no way of predicting the future. No matter how hard we try. There’s always an email that will disrupt things, a last-minute meeting, cancellations and postponements, emergencies and fires to put out.

So if plans will almost always go wrong, and when they do we get stressed out, isn’t all the time we spend creating the plans a bit of a waste?

Instead … give yourself up to the moment. Read More »

Article by Dr. Les Hollon, Pastor, Trinity Baptist Church

Harriet Phillips flew into Hanoi at the close of the Viet Nam War.  She was a ranking Air Force officer assigned with the responsibility to receive the last American prisoners of war, and then to accompany them on their safe return to a U.S. military facility.

As she stood in the plane’s entry way to greet each returning hero - her hands, eyes, and voice conveyed a message they had not heard in years – “You are respected.  You are appreciated.  You are loved.  You are free.”

When the plane’s take-off lifted those valiant heroes into the airspace of freedom, Harriet said, “there were shouts of joy, songs were sung, tears were shed.”  The captives were set free.  Joy. Absolute joy caused everyone on that plane to celebrate.

At different levels we all know the elation of joy in our lives.

When guilty as sin, grace calls our name. When in despair, opportunity knocks on the door.  When lost, the search party shows up.  When heartsick, loving arms hold us close.   When in anguish, surprising arms embrace us.  When financially pressed, needed money arrives.  When famished, we get fed.  Joy is our natural response to such wonder.

JOY conveys the meaning of Advent’s third Sunday just past … “To come” is Advent’s meaning, and to prepare fully for Christmas means we feel the joy of Christ’s first coming, and with joy we anticipate Christ’s second coming.   Which is why Isaac Watts wrote “Joy to the World.” Read More »

Article by Mary Bea Sullivan

Because I spent the early part of my career as a financial planner, sometimes people believe I have some magical financial gifts.  If only … The truth is I struggle as much or more than the next person with my relationship to money.

In fairness, those early years might have ruined me.  It was the late 1980’s and I was instructed to work only with people earning six figures and worth over $1 million.  I was surrounded by extravagant lifestyles … travel, clothes, fine wine and dining.

Many of my wealthy clients were very happy … had families they loved and meaningful work.  These folks seemed to have a healthy attitude about their money - they enjoyed it, but they weren’t defined by it.  There was an openness about them … with their resources and with their hearts. Working with them was rewarding and enjoyable.  They seemed to appreciate the gifts they had been given.

Others seemed to have insatiable appetites for more, and a fierce determination to hold on to what they had - no matter what the cost.  For example, I remember a young surgeon earning $450,000 per year.  He had every luxury you might expect for someone in his situation, but he feared losing his money.  It was as if holding on tight caused him great pain.  His wealth was a source of stress, instead of relief.  When I reviewed his tax return and saw he only donated $1,500 per year to charity, I was disappointed (and sorry to say, judgmental).  This same man repeatedly cancelled appointments and had little respect for my time.  Ultimately, I fired him as a client.

When my husband Malcolm traveled to Zambia five years ago, he was deeply touched by the generous spirit of the people there.  Even though most earned less than $1 per day, they seemed to be living joyfully.  Young orphans in tattered clothes prayed fervently with Malcolm, they laughed and played on the grounds of the Catholic Convent they called “home.”  A woman living in nothing more than a tin shack smiled broadly when she learned Malcolm was a minister and wanted him to know, “God has been good to me!”  Families destroyed by AIDS would take in yet another mouth to feed, sharing joyfully the little that they had.

This money thing, it is tricky for many of us. Read More »

Article by Dr. Les Hollon, Pastor, Trinity Baptist Church

When Steven, our youngest son, began his sophomore year of high school, we had lunch together and talked through what he wanted from the year.  He wrote out his game plan on a napkin.  Through the year, it hung from a magnet with other school papers on our refrigerator.

During our lunch, I shared that sophomore meant wise (Sophia) fool (more).  That within each of us lives the tension to be a wise or foolish person.  The choice is ours to make.  I am grateful for how I learn from my son as we talk and share with each other.

Like each of us, Solomon wanted basic information.  How does the world work?  What is our position in the world?  Can we live in a way that will make a lasting difference?  Is lasting happiness possible?

Most of us want to be wise, not fools.  But how?  is the question. Read More »

Article By Kevin L. DeWitt

Over the past several years, the trend in our society is for people to be separated from one another … allowing us to be alone – and lonely – in the midst of a crowd.  And in doing so to be dehumanized, or perhaps desensitized, a little bit more with each step.

Front porches and time spent with our neighbors have given way to the hectic pace of our individual lives and high walls or fences … separating neighbor from neighbor to the point where many times we don’t even know the names of our neighbors.

Similarly, cars have taken us off the streets, where we used to greet each other and stop to chat. Cubicles have taken away a bit of the humanity in working, as have even computers to some extent. Television has planted us firmly in our living rooms, instead of out with other people.

Even still, I’m not suggesting we rip out our fences, give up our cars, or toss our computers and TVs.  The positive impact they’ve had upon our standard of living is very real (except perhaps the cubicle).

What I am suggesting is that we must be careful not to focus on ourselves focused on ourselves to the exclusion of our fellow human beings … the tendency towards isolation rather than community, towards a focus on self to the exclusion of helping others.

So what to do? Read More »