Article by Kevin L. DeWitt

  

There is a close relative who appears - to the casual observer - to have most things our modern culture tells us we should aspire to. He has a beautiful home with a pool and a view, a lucrative retirement after a highly successful business career, an intelligent wife with her own professional career, and a life mostly of leisure …

 

And yet I know he is not content. In fact, he is one of the least content people I know.

 

He’s not alone. Many people feel that there is something missing from their lives. Despite having everything they need they aren’t happy, aren’t content, cannot find satisfaction.

 

Personally, I have been through several stages of discontentment in my life … and in fact, I’m in one now as I experience the frustration and fear of searching for a job in our tough economy.

 

But I also know that I have climbed out of these valleys more than once. Many times in fact. It isn’t easy. But I know from personal experience that it’s possible. And all the while, I try to be thankful for the many blessings God has seen fit to give me.

 

Thinking over these times in my own life, here are a few things I’ve learned we can do to bring contentment back into our lives. I don’t profess to be the expert - far from it! - just someone who is walking this path and trying to learn as I go:

 

• Change our attitude and perspective.

• Take some kind of positive action.

• Do something that gives meaning.

 

These things can be done all at once, one at a time, or in whatever combination works for you personally. They can work alone, or in tandem:

 

 

I. Change Our Attitude and Perspective
This is important. How we view things impacts so much in our lives. It’s the power of positive thinking … and yes … it works. It’s worked for me many times. But it’s more than simply accomplishing things … by changing our attitude; we can become happy almost immediately. It’s a choice.

 

Here are a few important ways to quickly improve our attitude:

 

1. Appreciate what you have. Most of us already have wonderful things in your lives, whether we realize it or not. Most of us have family members, friends, other loved ones who love us back … that’s a miracle itself.

 

Most of us have good health. We can see and enjoy amazing miracles such as sunsets, nature, and beauty all around us. We can enjoy and appreciate beautiful music. Most of us have enough food to eat and not only a home or apartment, but also televisions, stereos, books (and the ability read and enjoy them), clothes … I could go on and on, but the point is that so many of us have been blessed …

 

And before we get caught up in our hectic daily lives, we can take a moment to stop and appreciate – and say thank you – for what we have. Be grateful.

 

2. Find good in everything. We can choose to see things in a negative way, or in a positive light. For example, when my mother died several year ago, I was devastated … filled with grief, missing her, and couldn’t stop thinking about things I wish I had done differently for her while she lived. But after the shock and grief faded (it never goes away completely), I’ve tried to learn the lessons she lived … to focus on what’s important, to appreciate her amazing life and what she gave back to all around her – to appreciate the time I have with my loved ones, the importance of my church family … and to be thankful I’m even alive.

 

I’m not as good at it as I would like to be (and maybe the point is to simply try…), but the point is to attempt to find the good in life, in anything that normally irritates you (I’m still learning that with traffic around town!), in anyone who you have issues with.

 

3. Start believing that you can change things. For me as I search for a job in today’s economy, this is probably the most difficult challenge. And the climate of animosity and negativity coming from our nation’s capitol and seen every day in our media seem to amplify feelings of helplessness. A general feeling that things are too difficult to change, that they’ll never get better, can in itself be the cause of our discontent … but it doesn’t have to be.

 

Instead, start believing that you can make things better, and you will open the doors for change. And you can change things. I’ve done it, and many, many others have too. We all know it is possible.

 

4. Enjoy the moment. Whatever you’re doing right now, or at any time during the day, take the time to enjoy it, to appreciate it. Appreciate the fact that you have books to read and someone took the time to teach you to read … and enjoy. Appreciate the fact that God hears our prayers … and wants to hear our prayers and is there for you. For those of us who play a musical instrument, we may or may not be the best, but we each have some ability and can appreciate the joy that comes from learning a new song. And the same goes for writing, preparing dinner, eating, washing dishes, anything.

 

Appreciation allows us to enjoy. And it makes life feel better immediately.

 

 

II. Take Positive Action
It doesn’t matter what the action is, as long as you’re doing something positive. Start small, just take baby steps.

 

And you know what? Taking that little baby step will feel like a victory. Then take that feeling of success and use it to take another step. And another, until you look back and you’ve actually taken a series of steps that add up. Here are two good places to start:

 

1. Exercise. Just a few minutes of exercise a day. Walk, jog, swim, do yoga, pilates, pushups, it doesn’t matter. The act of exercising regularly will make you feel amazing. It can turn your life around. Use this great feeling to do something else good.

 

2. Decluttering - Organizing. Just declutter one shelf, one tabletop or countertop, one little corner of a room. Just start, and then a little at a time continue to declutter. You’ll feel better, a sense of accomplishment.

 

These are just two suggestions that have worked for me and many others over the years (although I must admit I have let slip the exercise part recently and find myself seriously needing to jump back on that bandwagon and start the step by step path to getting back into shape! The good news is I know it works!).

 

There are also many other good ways to start. As many as you can think of, in fact: wake up earlier, meditate, do some yard work or housework, walk instead of ride, take stairs instead of an elevator … make one or two simple changes and the payoff can be feeling less discontent and happier with your life.

 

 

III. Do Something That Gives You Meaning
Much of the time, we feel dissatisfied with life because while we might have all the comfort and leisure we need … we may lack the feeling that what we do matters.

 

What to do? Well, a part of this means appreciating what we have, and finding the good in things around us or the good in things that happen to us (see above). It also means:

 

1. Spend time with loved ones. I love the fact that I am back in my home town of Louisville where my brother, sister, nieces and nephews, aunt and uncle live. I don’t see them every day, but it’s meaningful when we can … like Thanksgiving around the same table, actually seeing my niece in a school play, playing along while my nephew or sister sings a praise song at church. These are a few of the examples of the life I feel I missed having lived away for many years. I’m conscious of it, and I am thankful to God for the opportunity to be a part of it.  Life goes by so quickly.

 

The same goes for my wife. I love her dearly and I am grateful for her in my life, but I fear I become caught up in the daily frustrations of life that I forget to tell her – and show her – often enough how important she is, and that I am thankful to God that He brought us together.

 

It sounds cliché, but these are the important times, and they don’t come again … at least not until we are reunited in Heaven. And rightly so, they feel more meaningful than most other things I do.

 

So … take the time to do something with a loved one. And perhaps more importantly, just be there and let them know they are welcome anytime.

 

2. Create something meaningful. Music is something that is meaningful to me. Sometimes I lose myself when I’m playing music, and I feel the emotions and feelings I deny myself so much throughout the day. Writing is meaningful to me as well. They both have a feeling of creating something meaningful and expressive in a world where we all congratulate ourselves for simply surviving the work week (TGIF!).

 

Whether it’s writing, drawing, playing music, designing, building something, teaching … anything meaningful to you … it can bring meaning and joy to your life. You’re creating something new, expressing yourself, sharing it with others so that it may enrich their lives and the world in general.

 

3. Make the lives of others better. Volunteering is just one way to accomplish this. But you could also think about your loved ones, your church family, your neighbors, others in the world around you, and think about how you can help them, make their lives better, even in a small way. That might mean baking them cookies, simply listening to them, remembering them outside of Sunday morning church services, cleaning for them, writing a kind letter, anything.

 

These are just a few ideas. I’m sure you’ve found your own ways to climb out of your own personal valleys…

 

Whatever we are waiting for — peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance — it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.
-Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.
-Source Unknown

If you can look back on your life with contentment, you have one of man’s most precious gifts — a selective memory.
-Jim Fiebig

 

Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor.
-Benjamin Franklin

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