Article by Stephanie Johnson

 

Modern life is hectic, and with the economy the way it is, a lot of people have to make sacrifices just to get by.

 

Usually the first thing that suffers is quality time together with loved ones, which is a terrible thing. Our loved ones are our haven, our safe place to come to when the outside world gets to be too much.

 

My fiancé and I now have schedules that are direct opposites of each other.  He works at night and I work during the day.  When I’m awake he’s asleep and vice versa.  We’re also both going to school, both at the same time, so that makes our window of opportunity to spend quality of time together even smaller.

 

Recently, we’ve also put on a little weight … so we’ve made a commitment to walking a mile in the park every morning.  The only time we can do this is at 6:00 in the morning - after he gets home from his shift, and I’ve just woken up.

 

There’s almost never anyone else out in our park at that time.  So we walk together and watch the sunrise, and it’s almost like we’re in our own little world.

 

We both have to make sacrifices in order to do this, but we love the time together, and, the fact that we’re getting healthy together.  There’s a little gazebo at the end of the trail we sit in together after the walk, watching the wildlife and listening to the soft morning wind rustle the trees.  It’s a beautiful moment we share together, and it’s worth losing a little sleep. 

 

“Well, that’s all well and fine for you guys,” you might say, “but my situation is different. I would love to do that too, but I just can’t, and I’m not sure how I would even go about it.”

 

Sorry to say … nothing worth doing is easy.  But it’s still worth trying, especially when it comes to more quality time with your loved ones.  Here are some things I have had to keep in mind while trying to set that all-important time aside.

 

1) Prioritize

You have your plate full.  But at the end of the day, isn’t all your hard work not only for yourself but also for the ones you love?  They are the reason behind it all, and thus, your first priority.  So when you make your decisions about what to do and when to do it, keep that in mind.

           

2) Communicate

No doubt your loved ones have as much going on as you do.  That’s why it’s especially important to keep the channel of communication regarding your schedules open and constantly flowing. Sometimes a chance to spend some time together might pop up unexpectedly, and it’s all too easy to miss the opportunity if you aren’t in the know.

 

3) Compare

Sit down and write out your schedule and those engagements you just can’t wriggle out of.  Have your loved ones do the same.  Then compare.  See where there are windows of opportunity for you both. Also, comparing notes might help you see where your time management skills might need a tune-up. 

 

4) Compromise

There are a variety of different ways you can share time together, and each of you probably has a different idea of the way they want to spend that time.  So it’s important to compromise.

 

Perhaps one week your loved one can choose the destination, restaurant, or activity, and then next time you get to choose.  That makes the time together even more fulfilling.  Or, if you both have a goal in mind, such as learning a particular skill or losing weight and getting healthy, try taking a class together, or go to the gym or walk together.  You may have to give up a little time you would typically spend doing something else, but the investment in your relationship is well worth it.

 

5) Follow Through

This is probably the hardest of all … because it’s very easy to make plans and promises, but very difficult, sometimes even impossible, to follow them through.  It seems life just happens around every corner!

 

But you have to do it.  Even if your plans fall through, and the activity you wanted to share with your loved one becomes impossible for some reason, make a point to share that time with them anyway, even if it’s just watching a movie together.  If something unexpected pops up, let your loved one know immediately, and also prepare immediately to find another time to make up the time you lost together.

 

You can do it.  You can make the time to be with the people who are most important to you.

 

Times may be tough, but you’ll deal with them … together.

 

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce.  You look for reasons it is not doing well.  It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun.  You never blame the lettuce.
            “Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce.  Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument.  That is my experience.  If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

 

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