Article by Judy Mosley

I hear that in faraway places, some families sit down and … talk.

If there is a problem, they call a family meeting and discuss the issues that are pressing them.  Urban legends speak of each person using words and sentences that make sense.  And by the end of the meeting, everyone understands what they need to do and how they fit into the family.

Unfortunately, with three children all four years old and under, words are rather scarce in our household.

The children can say lots of things, but most of the time, we don’t have a clue as to what they are really trying to say.  We know that they get frustrated, just like we do.  And we get frustrated a lot!  So until they grow and mature, we have what we call “Grievance Sessions.”

These are our emergency meetings.  They normally happen on an as needed basis and these are the rules.

1. Say anything you like.

2. Don’t take offense at anything that someone says.

3. Laugh.  This is not the time to be serious.

Okay … so what our grievance session is really … is a pillow fight.

All of us (except the newest edition) grab a pillow and we just start complaining, saying anything that we need to say, while hitting each other with the pillows.

For instance, I might say to my four-year-old, “You never clean up your room!” Whap!

And my husband might say to me, “You are too busy! You never have time for me!” Boof!

And so it continues!

The best part is that we laugh and we get out what bothers us most.  We discover what’s really bothering each other; things that we might have missed as we go about our daily lives.  These pillow fights give us the freedom to say what we need to.

That’s something everyone needs.  We need to be free to speak our minds in a safe place.

You don’t have to be rude or mean, but you do need to be honest.  Sometimes after the complaining is all done, we discover that what bothered us wasn’t really that serious.  It just felt like it was while it festered inside our brains.

A little complaining in the right place never hurt anybody.  So find someone to “fight” with.  You can use our rules or make up your own.  Only remember to get it out and to laugh because the combination of the two makes a world of difference.

“I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can.  It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
-George Bernard Shaw

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