Article by Make The Days Count Contributor Judy Mosley

 

“Without an outlet, we soon become loaded down with all we have taken in

from the world around us … keeping us from living the best life possible.”

 

2009 heralded a new year of change for many people.  For me, it offered the chance of a new life.  

 

The past year had been very hard.  As a family, we had to make some difficult changes.  As a person, I had to grieve the loss of some important relationships as well as put some dreams back on the shelf. I had hoped that the dawn of 2009 would transform what had been so painful into new opportunity.

 

What I found out was that I had simply carried that sadness with me.

 

Many of us have been through heartache and no matter what form the pain takes, it can affect us deeply.  Some of us may find it difficult to release the pain that lies inside of us.  We may not know how or maybe we have a hard time giving ourselves that permission.

 

Whatever the roadblock, it’s important to release those painful emotions.  As my husband says, “Better out than in.”  Keeping sadness inside only damages us further and can keep the relationships around us from being what they could be.

 

Consider this your personal permission to let it all hang out.

 

1. Letting go keeps you balanced.

All day long, we take in the world around us.  New information, the energy of others, and a variety of experiences can be internally “swallowed” in our hearts, minds, and our spirits.  But, with all this input, we need to have an outlet.  Without an outlet, we can soon become loaded down with all that’s around us and can hinder us from living the best life possible.

 

Find ways to empty yourself of all that “stuff.”  Write in a journal.  Beat a pillow.  Talk to a friend who will let you vent without judging what might come out of your mouth.  Make time to spill out, in healthy ways so that you don’t spill out in ways you’ll regret.

 

2. Letting go cleanses you on the inside.

Remember the last time that you had a good cry?  Afterwards, you were able to laugh, think, and move on to what’s next.  You felt cleaner.  And though you may not have understood it, you knew that you felt better.

 

Think of pain, sorrow, and anger, as a toxin.  Toxins that sit in your body do more damage than good. They need to move out.  The same goes with your emotions.  Toxins don’t magically disappear and neither do your emotions.  By refusing to acknowledge what you feel and dealing with them, they only grow and affect everything else inside of you.  Your emotions need to be physically discarded.  

 

Find ways that you can do this in a healthy manner.  Again, talk to a friend.  Put on some running shoes and pound the pavement.  Rent a really sad movie and cry it out or just lock yourself in the bathroom and just have a mini-breakdown.  As you do these things, imagine your emotions moving through and out of your body.  You’d be surprised how much better you feel when you do this.

 

3. Letting go makes you real.

I’ll be honest.  I don’t believe it’s healthy or beneficial to be positive all the time.  I am mostly a positive person.  But, there are some days that I feel “off” and I know it.  I don’t try to think positively to whisk bad feelings away because I know, for me, it doesn’t work.  I need to acknowledge what I feel and give myself permission to feel that emotion.  My kids have seen me cry, get frustrated, and tired. But, they also have seen how I deal with those emotions.

 

If you are a parent, your kids need to know that you are human.  That sometimes, you don’t feel good, that you feel sad, or you get angry.  But, from watching you, they can learn how to handle their own emotions.  You are their best model.  If you yell when you get angry, find other healthier ways of dealing with your anger.  Make sure that when you express what’s inside of you, that those around you are still safe – mentally, physically and emotionally.

 

Even if you aren’t a parent, it’s important that you be real with someone.  People need to know that you are a human being and that you have struggles.  I heard once that, “You should never follow anyone without a limp,” and I believe that to be true.  You can’t follow someone who appears to be perfect because you (and I) will never be perfect.  Find someone who is just as real as you are so that you can learn to walk together.

 

Letting go isn’t easy and as pain is uncovered and moves through your body, it can feel uncomfortable.

 

But I know for myself, as you let out what’s been festering inside, you will breathe, think, and live a little freer.  Let it go.  It’s okay to cry.  Be real with where you are.

 

Then, you can think about what’s next. And maybe, you’ll find yourself feeling a little happier.

 

“The body is a house of many windows: there we all sit, showing ourselves and crying on the passers-by to come and love us.”
-Robert Louis Stevenson

“Don’t be afraid to cry.  It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts.”
-American Indian Proverb, Hopi  

 

“Just when you think that a person is just a backdrop for the rest of the universe, watch them and see that they laugh, they cry, they tell jokes … they’re just friends waiting to be made.”
-Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein

 

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