Article by Make The Days Count Contributor Derrick Torrens

 

Hormones raging and hairs sprouting, it gives off that Wild Kingdom vibe.  It’s primal, it’s territorial, and it might even be human.  It’s a teenager.  

 

So many of us treat our dealings with teens as if you are an explorer landing on a distant world.  Phasers on stun we don’t know if they are lethal.  How soon we forget what people must have thought looking at us.  Some of us are still getting looked at like that, HELLO. 

 

Say hi to seven long years of looking at someone and truly not understanding him or her.  That reminds me of my love life, but I digress.  Saying things like “in my time” (what is “my time”) or “today’s kids” (how long does “today” last) isn’t bringing you any closer to the truth that you already know.  We were all and are all going through the same trials and tribulations.  

 

Hey, why don’t me and 6 of my friends all get pregnant at the same time and while we’re at it blow up the school?  Maybe it’s a waste of time even trying to understand that because as we gaze down from our thrown of righteousness we have but one phrase on our minds.  “Not my kid” or the even more popular “If that were my kid.”   Never does the train of condescension end with us taking a hard look into the mirror.  It’s not always horrible parents whose teens are out of control.  Weren’t we all at one time disconnected, alone, different, or just wanting to fit in. 

 

Thinking back to my teenage years there are a lot of things I wish I knew and maybe by taking a look back we can better relate to the teens we see every day.  10 Things I wish I knew as a teenager are:

 

1 - First, let’s not instantly write off the kid whose pants are hanging underneath his behind or are so tight I see puberty taking place.  We all were awkward.  My freshman yearbook picture I had this basement haircut from my mom that was leaning like the Tower of Pisa and a hairline, forget it.  My #1 thing I would have done differently would have been to go to the barbershop because that was one tough freshman year. 

 

Seriously, I will come up with my 10 things I wish I knew when I was a teenager in an attempt to show that at least on a simple level maybe I do have some commonalities with the dreaded teen.  By establishing our similarities maybe we can find common ground and pass our time together in a state of non-hatred at least and even sprinkle in some conversation.  (Note to all adults …  don’t act like you know it all and that everything the teen has done you’ve been there or done that.  It only belittles people and you come off kind of pompous.  Please empathize with your teens instead, because at one time trivial things (or at least what you find trivial now) meant the world to you.)

 

Ok, here’s the rest of the list.  I wish…. I wish…   

 

2 - I wish I knew how to cope better with my anger.  I fought a lot and spent a lot of unnecessary time alone because of it. 

 

3 - It also would have been nice to know that ridicule is part of the territory.  Whether you’re getting it or dishing it out teens can be mean and it seems like the torment is never ending. 

 

4 - Speaking of never ending, there was always a feeling that those years would last forever.  I should have known that wasn’t true and acted on it.  I probably would be further along in my life than I am now, but no regrets though.  Well, one regret if I had known better how to deal with the opposite sex I probably would have taken rejection better, and had more girlfriends (that’s irrelevant now). 

 

5 - Here’s one, I would have enjoyed my friends more while I had them.  You aren’t a kid forever and I don’t know many adults with as many friends as they had as a teenager.  If you’re a teen with no friends now that doesn’t bode well, go make some. 

 

6 - As yet another tale of wasted youth I would have taken better advantage of opportunities that were presented to me.  So many times we fail not because of what we did, but what we didn’t do.  I dedicate that to my prom date.  Honestly, I would have joined every club, sport, or the like if I knew what I know now. 

 

7 - Next, I wish I knew what money was worth.  I couldn’t spend it fast enough and still can’t, but at least back then I could spend it on myself. 

 

8 - Okay here’s one a little more heartfelt.  I would have dealt with tragedies and family issues better.  My parent’s divorce; fights; even being thrown out; they were tough, but I let them change my life for many years.  We’re almost done so don’t doze just yet. 

 

9- I wouldn’t have made decisions that would change my life when I had yet to live.  By that I mean sex, drugs, alcohol all could wait (drugs can wait forever).  Having kids, not finishing school, wandering the streets was all by products of growing up sooner than I should. 

 

10 - Lastly, enjoy yourself ‘cause I didn’t.  I would have in hindsight.  I would have gotten to know myself and not worried about fitting in.  Take time to listen, know yourself before you try to know someone else, and don’t try to be cool (your not). 

 

If we take time to know others, and ourselves being a teen or around one, can be a much more pleasant affair. 

 

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”
-Sophia Loren

 

“There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old there is no respect for age. I missed it coming and going.”
-J. B. (John Boynton) Priestley

 

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