Article by Make The Days Count Contributor Derrick Torrens

Perspective is truly the word of the day when it comes to our ability to survive these tough economic and emotional times. 

The old adage “Life is what you make it” or other cliché statements about keeping a positive attitude don’t hold much weight when you’re about to lose your job, retirement, or home.  Sitting in the dark because you have no electricity may truly be a great opportunity to get some sleep, but I doubt seriously we will look at it that way.  I know that I don’t. 

Having said this, I have to admit there is truth in the fact that changing our perspective will allow us to not only cope, but maybe even thrive in the midst of turmoil.  I say this from personal experience.  And I am thankful I am able to say this at all.

As a younger man I attempted to take my own life.  I had lost my home and felt isolated.  I was screwing up on my job and was alienating my family.  There honestly seemed as though there was nowhere to turn. 

No one in my family had ever truly coped with difficult situations or stress very well. High-blood pressure and short tempers are the pre-requisite classes necessary for entrance into our family.  In the past I believed whole-heartedly that lashing out or shutting myself in were the only ways to deal.  Sometimes I was happy, extremely even, but it was always temporary.  Thankfully my folly wasn’t the last mistake I was allowed to make and my suicidal thoughts didn’t bear fruit. 

Being granted a reprieve I began to read a lot.  I met with counselors.  I began actively searching for an alternative way of looking at my world.

As I began to study and speak with people whose lives were worse than mine, one thing always rang true - we must examine the way we think, and change it if it is keeping us from dealing with the stress and negativity that is a part of all of our lives. 

Easier said than done right?  Pay attention here’s where it can be difficult.  Ask yourself how many times a day you say “always” or “never” in your everyday thoughts and speech.  Those two words are absolute and final.  They tell you that you can’t change and no matter how hard you try you are stuck.  Personally, I see nothing positive in that.

How many times do you lie around, or do nothing, or eat because you are depressed or stressed?  Is this getting you anywhere?  Lying in the bed never got anybody a job … well at least not a legal one.  If you feel your weight is a problem then eating a lot won’t help either.  Don’t give the reaction you have always given.  Often times what we are accustomed to doing is counterproductive to our success or happiness.

Now let me cool off my soapbox for a moment.  It was getting overworked and hot to the touch.

None of these things will immediately make you over into the super-confident, happy, sex symbol we all wish to be (or rather we are told by Madison Avenue we should be) … but it’s a start to a more healthy life.  So please get started doing something – anything - because nothing plus nothing equals nothing.  Anger and hatred don’t make friends and no one wants to be around a person who is always down. 

The whole point of this article is to not only give you my testimonial or opinion, but also encourage you to share yours…  How do you cope, how do you deal with stress?  Let us know.

Times may be hard, but don’t be easily shaken and let’s help each other.  Tell me how you do it (no chemical help please I hate pills, unless I really need).  Help someone else because one of the greatest ways to deal with stress is to help someone else deal with there’s and may be they can return the favor.

Life truly is too short to spend it obsessing with the hardships of day-to-day life.  Live, ‘cause being down and out ain’t living and there is my poor English statement of the day.

“… I was reminded of a remark of Willa Cather’s, that you can’t paint sunlight, you can only paint what it does with shadows on a wall.  If you examine a life, as Socrates has been so tediously advising us to do for so many centuries, do you really examine a life, or do you examine the shadows it casts on other lives?  Entity or relationships?  Objective reality or the vanishing point of a multiple perspective exercise?  Prism or the rainbows it refracts?  And what if you’re the wall? What if you never cast a shadow or rainbow of your own, but have only caught those cast by others?”
-Wallace Stegner, The Spectator Bird, 1976

If you liked this article, please share it on del.icio.us, StumbleUpon or Digg. Thanks!